#39 Alexa Linton: Navigating Transitions

[SPEAKER 2]
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On this episode, we’re talking with Alexa Linton, osteopath and equine therapist and animal intuitive.

[SPEAKER 1]
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I wasn’t in a rush. Things happen very quickly for me. It’s one of those paradoxes with horses that if you’re not in a rush, things will happen fast.

[SPEAKER 2]
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Welcome to the Equestrian Connection podcast from WeHorse. My name is Danielle Crowell and I’m your host. Alexa Linton is the founder of the Whole Horse Apprenticeship, a culmination of almost 20 years of learning about all things equine wellness. She’s also the creator and host of the Whole Horse podcast and has written a variety of articles for horse journals. Alexa also specializes in supporting with transitions, including death and dying, but also herd and human and barn changes and physical transitions, including illness, injury and aging. Alexa wrote a book to support those who are navigating the death of their animals called Death Sucks, a straight up guide to navigating your pet’s final transition. It’s a tough subject, but that’s exactly what we’re going to discuss today, navigating transitions. Although this could be an easy episode to want to skip, I highly suggest you stick around and listen, because Alexa’s advice and wisdom is something that all of us can benefit from at some point in our lives. Without further ado, we welcome Alexa. Alexa, welcome to the WeHorse podcast. I’m so excited to speak to you on this really important topic.

[SPEAKER 1]
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Oh, it’s so great to be here. Thank you, Danielle.

[SPEAKER 2]
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So I’d love to go back to the beginning and get our conversation started there. How did you get started with horses and what were your first few years like as an equestrian?

[SPEAKER 1]
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Yeah. So, I mean, it’s, it’s such a, I’m sure that the same story for so many people where I was a horse obsessed from the time it was, you know, that I can remember. Um, and I would, essentially force myself on all my family members. I had a few cousins and things that had horses. So I would be like, I’m coming to stay with you for several weeks. So I had one particular cousin and an uncle. My aunt was very into dressage at the time and she had this amazing horse His name was Kazan, and he was like my first love. He was this gorgeous chestnut. I just remember being really little. I was probably, I don’t know, seven or eight. And I just remember him being just so shiny and big. And it was like, oh, I want to, you know, be doing this, having horses like this in my life. And I, of course, rode the little pony. I think his name was Mischief. Such a funny name. So round and so mischievous. And so that was sort of the starting point. And I would, you know, every birthday, can we go on a trail ride? And we grew up in sort of a more suburban area, so it was a little challenging accessibility-wise, not particularly, but you know, it was about an hour to an hour and a half drive to get to really any barn. So yeah, that was sort of the start of it and I went on to start taking lessons more regularly at about 11 and then I worked, you know, to try to pay for things. I worked at some of the bigger shows out here, hunter-jumper shows. And that was a real eye-opener at the time as well. So yeah, that was my beginning, I suppose, getting into all of it. Yeah.

[SPEAKER 2]
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And was there a particular experience or like an influence of somebody else that kind of led you on the path and inspired you to become the horse person that you are today?

[SPEAKER 1]
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I think there’s definitely a few amazing humans, like angels, that graced my path. One being when I graduated university, actually just before I graduated, I was sort of on this, what am I going to do next? And some little inside part of me went, you got to do horses. And then, of course, the question mark of what with horses. At the time, interestingly enough, another chestnut gelding gorgeous boy named Dancer was in my life and I had managed to get a brief release with him and he just had a lot of physical stuff going on and he would very kindly buck me off when he was sore and then look and be like, I’m so sorry that I did that, but you could not stay on my back any longer. And I had just done four and a half years of kinesiology and I felt really powerless that I’d done all of this study and I had no tools, like not a single tool that I felt like I could, you know, support him with. And so that led me, long story short, on a journey to apply for what was then called the BC College of Equine Therapy. And then I met Dave Collins, who in my humble opinion is, you know, an absolute pioneer of equine therapy. I was so blessed to be able to be a part of his school and I still, we still chat and I still get him to do sessions for my crew. But at the time I was, I was really, you know, maybe some of your listeners can relate. I was at this, this precipice place where I had been raised with all this kind of science and very, you know, when I speak science, I’m saying no mention of energy, no mention of feel, emotion, just very black and white. And so when I went to equine therapy school, it was a very bumpy road because it was, there was a lot of incredible information, but brand new concepts that were coming at me. And Dave was so patient and so kind as I absolutely fumbled through, you know, a lot of it because it was just so foreign to my whole understanding of how the world worked. And so I would say that he was, you know, one of the key people that continues to support me on my journey. And I’m very grateful. I’m very grateful for his ahead-of-the-time thinking. You know, here’s a guy who looks like a cowboy in Vernon, who’s just doing, like, the most incredible energy work and muscle testing and flower essences and trauma healing. Just incredible stuff. Like, amazing. And so, yeah, it really, it really set me on this path of like, how can I contribute like this person has? How can I share with the world in the ways that he’s, you know, so quietly done, like he just kind of does this little thing and inspires people, you know, just wherever he goes. Really amazing. Yeah.

[SPEAKER 2]
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[SPEAKER 1]
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It was definitely challenging. I remember when I first went into the field, just the feeling of, I mean, I think we all encounter the sense of the fraud, you know, at times. I definitely felt that at the time, but also this sense of, oh my gosh, I’m doing this weird stuff because I was taught to do muscle testing, applied kinesiology, energy work, and I was taught to do body work. I’m grateful now because I built this incredible two-track process where I could be doing a session and doing body work on a horse and chatting with the owner. And while I was doing that, doing energy work as well and doing animal communication and even muscle testing on my fingers without them knowing. And I would carry on a conversation because I didn’t want them to see what I was doing. You know, I’m grateful for that skill set now.

[SPEAKER 2]
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Yeah, that way it’s not like, so I’m going to do this with your horse and somebody’s like, you’re what?

[SPEAKER 1]
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What are you doing? And I became really adept at saying things in a super almost subtle way. Has it ever, you know, has this ever kind of crossed your path? I actually had a client recently that I was working with and I just basically came out and said, okay, so on a scale of 1 to 10, how woo-woo are you? I just need to gauge before I get into stuff because, you know, so back in the day, I didn’t do that. as much. What I found was people, as we worked with it, more and more people were more open than I had maybe given them credit for and were more interested in what their horse was bringing through and those bigger, broader pieces. And so it eventually led to me… For a good chunk of time, I was working almost exclusively within the context of the partnership bond. So I was doing body work, yes. But my niche, my you know, specialty, I guess, was working with partnership. And I would bring in energy medicine practices like body talk to work with matrixes and groups and herds and, and, you know, support the movement forward of a partnership, essentially. And I still do some of that work now. But I did find, yeah, the body work combined with that. So You know, what I’ve noticed over the years is when a horse is not feeling good in their body, it affects their ability to connect, long and short of it. And their ability to feel like they want to reach out within a partnership, like they want to engage with a human. Because engaging with a human, quite frankly, is tiring. It’s something, you know, that is Not, I mean, engaging with another horse, there’s a language there. There’s oftentimes just a better foundation where this engagement with a human, that takes effort for a horse. And I found that a lot of them in that efforting got quite… to a point where they didn’t want to do that anymore. They didn’t feel like the effort was worthwhile or the effort got them anywhere, if that makes sense. And so there was this sort of shutting down from this desire to connect. And I think that’s what a lot of horse people find themselves in is these relationships where they feel like, oh, there’s this wall or I just feel like when I’m reaching out, I just don’t get anything back. Like there just feels like the horse just really doesn’t want to do that. And very often that is the case because it’s a lot of work. And if a horse has had multiple experiences of saying no and not being listened to, or trying to express themselves on different levels, and it just lands on deaf ears. It’s that sense of, you know, why would I continue to do that, you know? And I saw that even with my own Mere Diva. By the time she’d come to me, I was her fourth home at four years old. And that is not uncommon with horses, you know? And By that point already, at four years old, she was like, meh, OK, I’m just going to get moved on to someone else. Like, why would I spend the time, energy, and effort here? It doesn’t make sense. And actually, coming back, circling around to Dave, it was Dave. At the time, I was in school. And I actually trailered her up. And when she got to school, it was so funny. she would not even look at me in the paddock. It was like, you know when something comes to a head with your horse? Like, oh dear, we’re in trouble. Something’s happening. And that was what was going on. Every time I’d go into the paddock, she’d sort of turn away from me. And so Dave actually told me, he said, I want you to go and put a halter on her and go with someone where you’re comfortable because you’re going to have a conversation with your horse. And I was like, oh my God, I’m going to talk to my horse. Um, and he said, yeah, I want you to really connect and tell her, tell her that if you can promise this, that she will be with you and you will be together and you will be doing this thing no matter what. And that’s what I did. I went and, you know, went behind the building and chatted. We had a chat and I told her that like until one of us bites it, this is it. We’re together and we’re doing this no matter what happens, you know, no matter how hard it is and I kid you not like she was a different horse. She’s a different horse she’d been so just like Like anything that I asked when I didn’t want it like and it just opened up this pathway It’s so interesting.

[SPEAKER 2]
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I had a really similar experience with my mare and We had quite a few years of just like mystery lamenesses, behavioral issues, the whole gambit. I was just always trying to fix her. I was trying to, you know, let’s try this. Let’s try this. Let’s show all the different things.

[SPEAKER 1]
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Okay.

[SPEAKER 2]
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That’s not working.

[SPEAKER 1]
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Let’s try this.

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Um, and I was getting burnt out and exhausted and she was burnt out and exhausted. Like she was like, can we like, she also was like, see me coming. I gotta, I gotta get out of here. And, um, and I remember the moment that I said,

[SPEAKER 1]
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This is it. This is enough.

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I’m tired. You’re tired. Let me just love you. You don’t have to be anything. You don’t have to do anything. Like, let’s stop all of this and let’s just be friends and let’s just hang out. That was a couple of years ago and she’s now in my backyard and she’s a completely different horse. And it was that moment. I literally, I felt that moment and I felt every moment after that differently than I had before when it was very, almost a transactional relationship. And then it was a conversation that said, I don’t want anything from you after all, like, not after all, but like, I, I, this isn’t working for us. And let’s, let’s, let’s start fresh. And it was really interesting shift. You know, they, they get it.

[SPEAKER 1]
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They sure do. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. I’m so glad to hear that for you too.

[SPEAKER 2]
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Now, I feel like I could talk to you about this all day, and this maybe will be another podcast episode down the road, but there is a topic that I really think is important for us to have, or a discussion that I think is important to have, and that’s on navigating transitions. you know, they can be different type of transitions. So it could be something as, you know, seemingly heavy as death and dying, or it could be something like changing barns, or changing humans, or changing herd dynamics, you know, all of those different things that every single one of us as equestrians experience at some point in our lives. And I think it’s a really important conversation to have. So can you speak to the different types of transitions that I, you know, kind of briefly mentioned and how they can affect both us and our horses?

[SPEAKER 1]
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Yeah, absolutely. So within a horse’s life, typically, I mean, not always, Obviously, there’s always exceptions to the rule, but there’s a few transitions that are particularly impactful. Let’s just say that. So when we’re thinking of a transition, we’re thinking of anything that is, okay, they’re going from one scenario to another or one herd mate to another or there’s just a change of some nature. Now, for those of us who know many horses, we know that some horses are, I’m not going to say better at change, but there’s more resources available for them to navigate change, maybe a little more gracefully. And then others, not so much. But I would suggest that very often with our horses, not always, but often, this starts from the transitions at the beginning. So one of the big ones that I work with a lot as an animal communicator and doing the work that I do around trauma is weaning. I work with it a ton in horses. I would say, you know, 75% to 80% of the horses that I work with, it comes up.

[SPEAKER 2]
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So now would that be the mare or like the foal?

[SPEAKER 1]
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Both. Okay. Both. Yeah. Generally more the foal because a lot of mares aren’t bred anymore and so they don’t necessarily have that experience. But yes, with mares as well. And, you know, people will say, well, that happened so long ago. you know, say you have a 20-year-old horse and it’s like, oh, that can’t be affecting them anymore. That happened so long ago. And I will tell you, I was working on a 42-year-old horse last year who is still being affected and still needed support around his weaning. So trauma doesn’t have a timeline. It doesn’t just miraculously disappear one day. That event is incredibly impactful and for some horses can change their whole trajectory, their whole nervous system makeup from that point onwards, right? So it’s almost like a part of my work has been, okay, how can I go back and maybe not right all the wrongs there, probably not. But can I start to shift the energy so that this horse might be more open to the possibility of healing that wound, the possibility of connection? Because more often than not, it changes the way that they attach to other horses and to humans. it changes the way they transition, right? It changes the possibility of separation anxiety, for example, or their ability to handle change, because that event happened perhaps incredibly suddenly, which weaning is often, you know, that here in North America, I found the most common type of weaning is, well, you know, Baby goes here, mom goes, you know, gets on a trailer. Someone goes somewhere else and deal with it. Yeah. You know, and I am hearing more and more instances where people are doing weaning, like over the fence weaning, where baby can still see and touch mom. And, you know, and we’re not nursing anymore, but there is actual contact. which is definitely better. And yeah, I’ve seen other examples that more and more people are thinking about, okay, what would this look like in a healthy way, right? In a way that supports all the horses to stay in a wholeness. you know, through this experience. Yeah. So that’s, that’s the first one that often comes up. The second one is usually their start. So if they’ve had a hard start, if they’ve been sent away for training, um, if they’ve been started really young, um, or suddenly these sorts of things can be very impactful for a lot of horses. Right. And of course, affecting of, how they experience their relationship with humans, their relationship with tack and saddles, and, you know, their relationship with their body, quite frankly, right? Because if they’re started, and I would, you know, and maybe it’ll be controversial, maybe not, but I would say almost every horse has started too young. Or none. Like, you know, when we look at growth plates fusing and all of these things. If you’re riding even your three-year-old, yeah, maybe you hop on their back and then get off again and kind of get them used to it. But anything beyond is, you know, in my mind, yeah, that can be very impactful and not in a good way for our horses, right, and their bodies. So these kind of transitions, can we do them better? And then, you know, coming into just the general, okay, most horses are boarded out, which looks like moving barns, changing feeds, changing friends, you know, relatively regularly, right? And we don’t always take the time to do those transitions justice and to really see them for what they are. Like pivotal moments in your relationship with your horse. Pivotal. You know? And if they’re done in haste and if they’re done without care, they can be not connecting. Let’s just put it that way. Disconnecting, right? Because your horse goes, well, you didn’t ask me. You didn’t prep me. I didn’t see this coming. What is happening right now? Right. All those things start to come in. And so can we do that? Those kind of transitions with more. Just thoughtfulness, really more thoughtfulness. And so those are some of the big ones that come through. And what you’ll notice is as you work with transition, as you become more thoughtful, more graceful with it, and more centering of your horse. Okay, what is my particular unique horse going to need in this scenario, right? Okay, they’re leaving their bestie, you know, they’re leaving, you know, maybe a situation that they feel really comfortable in, they have to go on a trailer, which They may or may not be feeling safe around how can I support with baby steps for them to be able to move forward into this transition rather than going, you know, and that’s entirely possible. Like a beautiful transition at any stage of the game is possible. You know, one where that horse is going, yes, that’s what we ideally want to be feeling, right? And that there’s this willingness and openness in that horse that we’re actually working together with them on this, you know? And that’s really what I’ve been working with with my girls over the last chunk of years. So when we had to move from, we were living on a farm and then I, my partner and I moved into town onto a little property And so we had to move the girls, you know, and I sat with them for a long time. And I actually asked, like, I would go and see a property and I would sit with them and do animal communication, be like, OK, so this is what it looks like. And this is the stalls and this is how the paddocks laid out. And this is what the routine would be. And these are the people that you would be taking care of you. And I would just show them all of that and the feeling that I had at that space. And then I would ask them, like, what do you think? And, you know, really listen. Okay. Is that like a full body? Yes or not. And then, so it was really amazing when they came to where they are now, just the ease that, that, you know, that happened with that transition, like where they’re like, okay, cool. Yeah. We’ve seen this place in your mind’s eye. We’ve gotten a, uh, you know, a sense of it. I created. things on that piece of land that they’re familiar with so that they could land in a way it’s like, oh yeah, okay, got it. So these sorts of things can be small but very supportive to this ease of transition, right? Yeah, so that’s the long story.

[SPEAKER 2]
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Do you find that it depends on the horse, how they respond to a transition, or is it that it generally can affect them all, but they express it differently?

[SPEAKER 1]
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I think it really depends on the horse. Like we see this with people too, right? I watch certain people and I’m like, oh my gosh, how do they do that? Like, they’re just so cruisy about stuff and it’s just, you know, all these things can be happening and they’re just like, oh yeah, no problem. And you know, and then there’s others. Like I’m probably an example of this, like change is hard and a little crunchy for me and I have to prep myself a little bit more and make sure, especially now, like that there’s certain, you know, factors that have been accounted for in that transition. horse that’s like, let’s go do the things like I love this loves new environments. So curious and interested. That’s obviously going to be impacted by how you bring them up as well, how you support them to navigate a human world, right? There’s pieces of that nurture versus nature thing, right? But this sense of Yeah, there’s, like, we see this I just saw an amazing horse who won at the Pan Ams. And, you know, he had to be shipped for a full day and then he got on a plane and he went and competed. It’s crazy. It’s just like, it’s crazy. It’s like, I couldn’t do that. Right. So, and he looked so happy, relaxed, ears forward, not sweating. Like, you know, you could see this sense of like, he was, he was good, you know, and He also, though, had his people. He had his crew with him. So there’s this sense of transition is always made easier when we have things that are familiar, which is why being with know, through all those transitions can be so, you know, if they can trust you and they go, okay, mom’s here, I’m good. There’s something really important about that. It was one reason for me, even if I didn’t have my own horse trailer, I would always follow Diva. And I would just connect up to her. I would put a white light bubble around the trailer, and I would imagine, I would visualize our hearts connecting and just let her know, like, I’m right behind you, girl. Like, I got you, you know? And that sense of, you know, people would say, oh, she traveled really well, you know, with that. And we’ve traveled all over the place, you know, all over the province. Yeah, it’s just really interesting to watch each horse and kind of what works for them, you know. And when we think of that, like I say, when you center the horse and what works for them and how they best, you know, do a transition. It changes the game. It’s not, you know, us like, well, I need to go do this thing. So they better deal, you know, like I have a timeline, so they have to figure it out, which is often what happens, right? Like with weaning, with starting, like, oh, you’re three, two, let’s go, you know, this is what we’ve always done. This is what we’re going to do and just blanket, you know, um, to put that sort of judgment over all horses. All horses are going to be ready. All horses are going to be okay with this.

[SPEAKER 2]
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It just doesn’t work. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, this is how it’s always done. We’ve always done it this way.

[SPEAKER 1]
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It’s fine.

[SPEAKER 2]
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Before I brought my horses home, we were at a boarding stable. It was a relatively large boarding stable. And we were there for four years. And my horses had their designated paddock. And then there was all these other paddocks around them. And in that four years, their neighbors rotated constantly. There was just constant change. And my mare especially had a really hard time with it. She would, like, she just became so bound to all the horses around her. And it almost felt like she didn’t want to let them out of her sight because if she lets them out of her sight, then maybe they won’t come back. And I didn’t really realize it until I brought them home. And then I was like, oh, you seem settled. This is really interesting. Now, the thing is, though, is that the majority of people listening, the majority of equestrians are at boarding stables.

[SPEAKER 1]
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And

[SPEAKER 2]
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having new neighbors for the horses and transitions that way is always going to be a regular occurrence. It’s not something we can control. What are tools that people can use or work with that can help to build a strong foundation or help to support their horses through these things that it’s just It’s just unfortunately going to be a common thing.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:35:10-00:39:04]
Totally, totally. And such a great question. For me, there’s a few things. So one, be in contact with your board mates, you know, if a shift is going to happen. knowing about that shift and giving your horses a heads up. I know this, you know, at this point I’m like, whatever, I’ll just say, I’ll just say it. Talk to your horses, just talk to your horses. You may not even believe that they hear you. That’s okay. That’s fine. Just tell them anyways. If you’re taking them on a trailer ride, show them where they’re going. If you’re, you know, if a herd mate’s leaving, let them know, give them as much notice as possible. And show them what’s going to be happening. And if you know who’s coming, show them that as well. Right. And if you can show them where that other person is going and let them know they’re going to be safe there. Right. So like all of those pieces, we can get so in our head about it and like now they’re not like, what am I even doing? I’m a crazy person. Like be that crazy person in the back. Please. Like we love it because it helps. Like it really helps. And being there at those times saying, hey, I see that this is concerning for you, like for your mare, for example. For me, right away, I go, oh, what happened for her in the past? First thing. How can I support her with that? Is there, you know, potentially a flower essence or a practitioner or someone I can work with that can help her to soothe that particular wound, maybe around abandonment or around a past transition that maybe was really hard on her. And then from there, working to make sure that you’re present at those times. So when that horse is leaving, can I be there? at the barn at those times? Can I, you know, stick with a routine? You know, can we hang out together in those moments in a way that’s soothing for her, right? Those sorts of things really help. And she, like, it feels to me like, of course, I have, like, connecting in, but it’s like, that sense of, with a mare like that, let her know that that horse is going to be okay, wherever it’s going. Show her where and how and what that looks like and why. Why are they leaving, right? Sometimes we can’t explain that. Sometimes, like you said before, one of the big transitions, death and dying, right? Sometimes a neighbor passes or a herd mate passes. It’s a very different, different but similar scenario, right? At that point, this is why I share with people, if you can be there, be there. I know it’s incredibly hard, but the more familiarity that’s there for your horses in those hard moments, that makes a big difference for them. And then if it is a herd mate or a barn mate that’s passed, Do your best that your horse can go and be with the body for a chunk of time. Okay? Horses mourn and they process and they integrate by being with their herd mates, even after they’ve passed, to acknowledge that this body no longer contains that life essence anymore. is an important step for them to move through that transition. They may still grieve, but they have this time to be with the reality of what’s happening, yeah? Yeah.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:39:04-00:39:43]
That makes a lot of sense. I think that way it removes the, well, where did they go feeling. Now, we all have, there’s such a heavy feeling even just the word death. It’s immediately, you either are like, I don’t want to talk about it, or it just brings up a lot for people. How important is shifting our perspective, and in what way would you even look at the perspective of any sort of a transition, but especially the topic of death and dying? What would you recommend for people in that way?

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:39:46-00:44:28]
I mean, I wrote a book and I called it Death Sucks because it always does. You’re not going to take that part out of it. I don’t think any of us are going to get to a point like, oh, that was easy. That’s fine. No, we don’t want to get to that place. That’s not where we want to be. If we have loved that being, Like, you know, my guess is if you’re listening to this podcast, yeah, you love your horses, you know, they are part of your family. And you will grieve like you will feel this loss on a deep level. Absolutely. Right. And, and I do believe that the way that we do death and dying in our culture, is not particular, is not often healthy. We, like you say, tend to turn away from it. We don’t want to look at it. And our comfort around emotional expression tends to be fairly stifled. So this sense of allowing, you know, that emotion, that rawness to move through us, can be incredibly daunting and challenging. And so when faced with the prospect of this huge emotion, we often just want to run the other way. And my hope is that we get better and better at facing and being with it. And I, one of the things that I talk about in my book and that I also work with is anticipatory grief. So this sense of, you know, divas now 24 turning 25 next year. I think I’ve been like anticipatory grieving diva, like her whole life. I’m like, Oh my God, how am I going to deal with this? She’s like my, you know, she’s been the most incredible teacher. She’s been my bestie, right? She’s been with me for literally like, I think November 1st. I was trying to remember if it was November 1st or December 1st, but I think I met her like right about now, 20 years ago. So it was like, yeah, sometime in the beginning of November, 20 years ago. That’s a long time to be with someone. And to be in like an intensive growth relationship with someone, right? With a being. And so I think that I need. It’s like, it’s like kind of like a pressure cooker. Like, I need to release and be with my anticipatory grief of like, we’re not always going to be together. I mean, she may, like, hopefully live till 40, which would be amazing. But we don’t know. We don’t know. And I want to turn and face that so that when things do happen, I can be as prepared as possible, that it doesn’t catch me in this space of, I’ve done nothing. And I can’t even be there for her at that time. Because I’m, you know, I’m so out of it. So for me, it’s like, I let the emotion bubble. I turn and face it. Okay, my mare is 24 years old. She’s a draft cross. The reality is we have hopefully five to 10 more years together. Okay, I live on an island. This island doesn’t have a crematorium. What does that look like? If something happened, what are my choices like? you know, I, I talk to people about these, these aspects to know where is her body going to go in a way that I’m going to feel in my heart good about because one of the options here on the island, the biggest option is they go to the dump. Wow. And I personally,

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:44:30-00:44:32]
Yeah, I agree. Yeah, no, no.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:44:32-00:47:45]
I can’t. So I need to find other options. I need to turn and face and talk to people, have conversation. I don’t have my own land. Okay. I need to talk to people about what this looks like. What are some other options for me? Who would I want to be there and support me in this? Obviously you don’t always get choices in that, you know, sometimes we don’t want to think about it, but Traumatic deaths happen with horses, happens all the time with horses, sudden deaths. It’s awful. Okay, how would I navigate that in the best possible way? Who would I need to, who would be my first people to call in those situations? And how would I get support so that I can be there in my full presence? Because my belief, and this probably doesn’t go for everyone, but my belief is that as a transition, and just like all transitions, death has the potential to be both horrible, just like any transition can be horrible, or on that other side, graceful, peaceful, even sacred. That’s the other side. And I want that. I want that for my girls. I want that for myself. I want to, like it’s my, one of my goals in my life is to have a beautiful death. You know, I know that sounds weird, but no, I know what you mean. That’s what I want. That’s what I want. Even if it’s hard, even if I’m sick, even if I’m suffering, I want it to be my people around me. You know, I have turned and faced. I have gifted what I want to gift. I have, I have done the things that I’ve wanted to do as much as possible. Right. And so that’s what I want for my girls is that sense of they’re honored. They’re honored in that time. It’s not this moment. It’s like, okay, I’m here. I’m anchored. I’m with you. we’re doing this. It’s happening. And I’m going to be I’m going to ride it. I’m going to be here with you through these moments. Whatever happens, I’m going to witness it. and be here. And that’s what I want for my girls. And that’s what I try to bring to my sessions and to my work, right? When I work with horses that are in this time, in this precious time, you know, where they’re preparing, where they’re saying, yes, like, I’m ready. I’m getting ready. Get yourself ready, because I’m getting ready. And that happens, right? We’ve felt that. It’s like, they look at you and say, OK. It’s coming. What are you doing? Right? Yeah.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:47:45-00:48:27]
How do you feel that being an animal intuitive is helpful for this? Obviously, I think that was a little bit of a rhetorical question. When an animal is ready, do you feel that that helps you see it from a different lens, being that intuitive so that you’re able to help to guide somebody to say, well, the horse is ready versus like, I can only, I haven’t had to euthanize an animal or a horse or go through the death of a horse. I’ve been very fortunate.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:48:27-00:48:27]
I shouldn’t say that,

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:48:29-00:49:21]
Any of the horses that I’ve had throughout the years have moved on to a different owner, with the exception of the two that I currently have that will be with me until it is their time. And so I don’t know what it’s like to experience the death of a horse, but I can imagine that there is so much back and forth. from the human perspective of, is this the time? Is it not the time? Winter is coming, should I do it now? You know, all of those things that I think of from the horse person perspective, you know, that are those horrible conversations that we have in our heads. From the animal healer, sorry, animal intuitive perspective, do you find that that is helpful for the owner to make those difficult decisions?

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:49:22-00:51:16]
Yeah, I have. I have found because, yeah, you’re exactly like you’re hitting the nail on the head. No one wants to play God. It sucks. It sucks. And I’ve only known two horses ever that have died on their own. It doesn’t happen generally. Right. The only time it’ll happen is if they not the only time, but the only times I’ve seen is a heart attack or like an aneurysm, something sudden. And you come out and they’re gone, right? Because of their survival instinct, the chances of that occurring are much lower, you know? And because their bodies are incredibly like, okay, And so they march on, right? And in domestication even more so, you know, because they’re not dealing with predators or any of these other factors, you know, like the winter is coming piece, right? There’s ways as, you know, in a human world to kind of keep a horse going, so to speak, right? And yeah, it’s, never an easy moment to say and to get to a place of, okay, now’s the time. Like it really isn’t. And within the dying process, I will say a part of it is the ebbs and the flows. It’s not a singular line. It goes up like waves and they’ll feel better for a couple of days.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:51:16-00:51:19]
And then you’re like, Oh, okay, they’re getting better.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:51:19-00:55:03]
I won’t. This is this fine. And then you’re like, No, they’re worse. And it’s Yeah, yeah, totally. So for us, one of our jobs is to track number one, our own process. Can I be as Can I take myself out of the middle of this equation? Essentially, this is my horse’s process. Yes, I’m involved, obviously. But this is their life. This is their life. So if I’m finding myself going, well, I can’t let them go. I’m not ready. Oh, like, okay. That’s great. What kind of work do you need to do? And I know that sounds harsh, but be ready. They need you to come to that place on your own, to say to them, like I literally have people say to their horse, you can go. I will be okay. Because often the reason that horse is holding on is that exact reason. I’m scared that my person will not be okay without me. Horses are very, just like most animals, pretty cruisy when it comes to death and dying. Pretty like, yeah, okay, like this is what’s happening. They’re fairly flowing with it, you know. Humans, we’re not Often so much, we think way more about these sorts of things rather than getting in our bodies and going, what is real right now for myself, for my horse? If I look at my horse and I experience what they’re experiencing, is the quality of life that they are experiencing this moment adequate? Not even adequate, good enough to postpone this process. Yeah, if my horse is galloping around the paddock and seems to be really enjoying themselves, eating their food well, they’re able to sleep, they can lie down on their own. Okay, awesome, great, right? They’re not in pain, I’m not having to heavily medicate to continue their life. Okay, great. But if those things, if I fit, or you fit, and you really feel into, is the quality of life what it needs to be to continue this life? And your answer is no, then you need to make a call. Because at that point, You are keeping them around. You are continuing this path out of a different place. Not out of care for your horse. It’s not out of care for your horse at that point. It’s something different. And I think that’s really important to remember. And I know that that probably sounds really harsh.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:55:03-00:55:05]
It’s an important point to make.

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:55:05-00:58:42]
I think that euthanasia can be controversial. In my mind, it’s so merciful, you know, yeah, and that we have access to that, that we can support them on that level. We can, you know, a lot of horses tell me, I want to go with dignity. I don’t want to be so far gone that I can’t. go with my dignity intact. I’m like, yeah, I get that. I get that. Right? Humans say the same thing. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. You know? And so the sense of, okay, what does my horse need? And I’ll tell people, go sit with a journal in your paddock and just write about what’s going on, about what you’re feeling, about your internal conflict, about what you feel when you see your horse, when you watch them move, when you see them engaging in their life, is that a life worth living anymore? And ask yourself those hard questions. And if you need, get an animal communicator to help you out, to connect in, to help with this process, to help this shift happen. Because a lot of horses have they have things that they want, you know, they want people, specific people there, they want a specific thing done with their body maybe, they have, you know, potentially ways they’d like to be adorned and legacy pieces that they want to share about. All those things are part of making this transition beautiful, graceful, easeful, how they want this done. It’s like, it’s like for me, I’m like, I’m going to be planning my funeral like well before, not even a funeral, celebration of life before it happens. Like playlists are going to be done, guest lists, absolutely. Like it’s going to be mapped out, right? I’ll probably have a menu because food is important. But like, no, those sorts of things, right? Our horses have a similar way of being. listen, right, will be instinctually drawn to, I want to put this flower in their mane, or I’d like to braid this part, or, oh, I’d like to save these pieces of mane or tail or, you know, there’s this sense of, how would I say it, like a path forward. Like an intuitive sense of this is where we’re going. And when you can connect into that, it changes everything. But it does require us to get in our bodies, to still our minds, to regulate our nervous systems, to be able to access that information. You know, that’s right there, you know, it’s kind of like grabbing a thread. Oh, where’s this going? Being curious about what that process might unfold like for you and your horse. rather than going, I don’t want this to happen. Yeah.

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:58:42-00:58:53]
Yeah. It absolutely does. And if somebody was looking for help along with this, this is something that you offer. Is that correct?

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:58:53-00:58:57]
Yeah. Now, what would a session look like?

[SPEAKER 2]
[00:58:57-00:59:02]
If somebody listening was interested in booking with you, what would it look like?

[SPEAKER 1]
[00:59:02-01:04:03]
What could they expect from it? So often I’ll recommend to people to do even two sessions, one prior and possibly one after, or I’ll usually just tell them, you know, once you have a time and a date, let me know so I can hold some space. But the initial session, I work with a tool called Body Talk, and I engage a lot of other modalities, energy work modalities and animal communication aspects into that. And I essentially We do an intake, we do it over Zoom generally, so I can see you, maybe your horse, if they’re around. And then we just essentially dive into what are the energetics that want to shift. So I put the whole matrix in, which basically means I put you and your horse and your other horses into a hat, and I just see who needs support with this. Who needs help? Right? And usually this first session is sort of like that, are they ready session? So we, we check that out. Sometimes they’re not. And it’s like, the session is like working on ways to support them to continue to, uh, improve their quality of life or whatever it is. Right. And, and then if it is that time and they say, yeah, okay. we need to start preparing. And then we do that work, we have that discussion and we talk about the logistics and we get into the details and I share what comes up through that horse, the fears that they’re experiencing, you know, the blockages that might be occurring for them, for their humans, with other herd mates. Oftentimes there’s concern about how is this herd mate going to do without me? How is this human going to do without me? What’s going to happen here? Who’s going to hold this space? All those things need tending, witnessing. And so that’s what we work through. And I’ve had sessions where other horses in the herd will come forward and say, I need work. I’m not being with this well, right? And so we work that, and we look at details around, who does this horse want to be there with them? How does that look? How is that going to unfold? Is there a particular vet that they to engage with? Is there, you know, a particular spot that they would like to have this occur? Is there a particular spot that they maybe would like to be buried or a way that that happens, right? All these pieces are important. You know, there are these little keys unfolding. And so that’s what we work with. Sometimes we need another session down the road. And oftentimes I find it’s this tricky thing is when we are there and we are with what’s occurring on that kind of level, that horse will often improve for a chunk of time because this weight comes off of them. So again, that ebbs and flows, waves. Right. So it can feel confusing for that person. Oh, they like, they got better, you know, there was the shift. But what I see is that, yes, it as the wave starts to come down, now they’ve got the tools, now they’re ready, now they’ve maybe had some anticipatory grieving occur where they’ve had some cries, they’ve had some energy move through, and then they can come to this in a more whole way, in a more, yeah, receptive way. Yeah, yeah. What is body talk? It’s a great question. It’s a controversial question. Oh, okay. I know, I know. In a way, yeah, I continue to utilize it on a certain level, but I don’t train in it anymore or anything like that. I utilize it because it is a really powerful tool and it incorporates applied kinesiology and some amazing pieces that I really love. And I then kind of call in other modalities and other things that I want to work with. But I’ve still found it to be very supportive and helpful for me over the years. So I won’t say much more than that.

[SPEAKER 2]
[01:04:03-01:04:06]
And you just kind of mold in your own ways with it.

[SPEAKER 1]
[01:04:06-01:06:54]
I do. Yeah, I do. But what I really enjoy as far as that. I don’t necessarily think of myself as like a traditional animal communicator. And for a few reasons, like I’m not the kind of person that if you want like just a reading on like what your dog likes to eat, you know, like, yeah, you know, something in terms of like, yeah, proving myself. I guess, if that makes sense. I’m like, you know, it’s not really It’s not really my jam, but I personally love, I really get a kick out of catalyzing change. So I don’t really want to just like chat with your animal and see what’s up. I want to like shift some stuff for them, right? And that’s what I’m all about. That’s one of the reasons why I enjoy this tool, because number one, it gives me perspective on what they’re moving through. Maybe not really specific perspective, but a lot of information about what’s happening for them and what they’re needing to get to another space. a more clear space, a more whole space. And that’s what I love about it. It’s like, okay, yeah, I’m communicating, yes. And we’re also doing the work. We’re also tracking the energy and seeing what wants to change and how that wants to happen and what wants to open up. And I love, that’s the part for me that really feeds me, you know, is to see those shifts happen and to connect on that level. And I’ll often do, you know, I do a lot of transition work around like, yeah, moving barns or trailering or, you know, like, yeah, like that sort of stuff. And I love doing like, I’ll do, I get a kick out of doing I know it sounds weird, but body work at a distance, like remote body work, because a lot of people live in areas where they maybe don’t have access to body workers or cranial therapists. And yeah, it’s not the same as hands on ever, but it can really make like some good differences. And it’s really cool to see what shifts happen. I find that really interesting, you know, to be here and BC and, you know, be working on horses and like Omaha and like all over the world, really. Yeah, yeah.

[SPEAKER 2]
[01:06:54-01:07:01]
I mean, we have an international audience here, so that is for anybody that’s listening. That’s, you know, good information for them to have as well.

[SPEAKER 1]
[01:07:01-01:08:05]
Yeah, as long as the time zone lines up, we’re good and we can do a lot of amazing things remotely. Like, it’s really cool and, you know, I’ll often give people guidance on, okay, use this flower essence, try out this homeopathic, you know, just let’s see what’s going on for them or you know, I can tell them, okay, yeah, like your horse is really jiving on this bodywork, you know, this one’s like, you know, like, those sorts of things really can be a part of it, you know, so it’s neat. I love, I love that work. And, and I really like to, I really strongly believe that we can navigate transitions and in particular, death and dying, in really beautiful ways. Sometimes it takes a little work and some definite, you know, messy emotions, but it can be a really different experience if we’re open to that.

[SPEAKER 2]
[01:08:07-01:08:54]
That leads perfectly into my next question. And maybe that answers it. But I’ve been asking everybody, because I feel like we’re at such a pivotal time of the equestrian industry right now, the horse industry, where there’s so much change happening. Some really, really good change and some not so good change. And there’s so many more discussions happening and all of that going on. And so I’ve been asking about, like, What is your hope for the future of the equestrian industry? But I’d like to take it a little bit more specifically for you. And what is your hope for the future of the equestrian industry in regards to how to view and respond to transitions?

[SPEAKER 1]
[01:08:54-01:12:37]
Yeah, and I think in many ways I have answered that question today in our conversation. My hope is that we consider the horse more and more and more. That the transitions are not just because they’re convenient for us or what we’re needing or what works for us, but that they take into account what is going to be best for the horses in our world. Right? And, and that goes right from weaning all the way through until they’re passing. And I think that that comes from that we don’t, often the harm comes when we center, how do we say it? So like with your mare, for example, before you kind of made the shift and she had her leannesses and all those things, and you said it was more of a transactional relationship and then that shifted. So for us as horse people, beware of where your relationship, even if you’re not conscious of it, is transactional. where you believe that your horse owes you something for you taking care of them, feeding them, putting a roof over their head. They owe you nothing. No. And if you are engaging in a transactional relationship, and this could look like, I’m going to move you to this fancy barn because we’re going to do the type of riding I want to do in the way that I want to do it. And your horse is expressively telling you, I don’t want to do this. I’m not comfortable. I’m not comfortable with this. It’s stressful. It’s hard. It’s not what I’m wanting to do. That is a transactional relationship because you’re saying, this horse needs to do this in order to stay in my care. Oftentimes as well, we find ourselves in, well, I’m going to sell this horse because they’re not doing the thing that I want them to do. What would it be like to actually change that and go, well, if I’m in a partnership here, what does my horse want to do in this moment? What would that look like to shift into that kind of thinking about our horses? Because I think so often transitions are a human saying, well, I’m doing this no matter what. So yeah, my hope is that people start, and I know they are already starting, obviously, thank goodness. but more and more prioritize what does my horse need in this scenario? And is there a way for us to work together so that whatever this transition is, is supportive for all, not just myself.

[SPEAKER 2]
[01:12:37-01:13:10]
I love that. I love that you brought that up. I think that’s so important and it’s, it’s interesting. You know, and I and I kind of mentioned this earlier, where it’s like, I’ve never seen a horse to the end of their life. And, and I think that it always came with a little bit of an immaturity, because up until my mare, and that happening, to be completely honest, like any other horse, it’s like, okay, great. I’m, you know, I’m, I’m ready to move up a level.

[SPEAKER 1]
[01:13:10-01:13:11]
You’re at this level.

[SPEAKER 2]
[01:13:11-01:14:33]
So you go to this new home and I’m going to get a horse that’s at my level now, or I have this transition happening in my life. A horse isn’t a good, this isn’t a good time for me. So you go to this home and then I’m going to do this with my life now, all of those things of us as humans. And I remember with my mare, when that was happening, I thought, well, I can’t sell you because, nobody’s going to want you, you know, you’re lame, you, you know, you’re, you’re behavioral. There’s all these things going on. And of course she was like looking back, it’s like, of course you were behavioral. My God, like all of the, you know, all the things you look back on. And I remember thinking, well, she can’t go, she can’t go to a different place because, um, where’s she going to end up? What’s going to happen to her? And in that moment, that was my growth moment that I thought, well, shouldn’t you ask that question for every single horse? Not just the ones that are lame, but not just the ones that, you know, shouldn’t it be at any time, well, those tough questions we need to ask ourselves about these transitions of this is me being a human and making my decisions, but what does it look like for the others? And I think that what you had said was just such a beautiful and eloquent and an important point to make.

[SPEAKER 1]
[01:14:33-01:14:51]
So thank you for that. You’re welcome. Yeah. It’s not always an easy thing to hear, but I think if we are truly wanting to do better for our horses, it’s something that we need to be supremely honest with ourselves about.

[SPEAKER 2]
[01:14:51-01:14:52]
Absolutely.

[SPEAKER 1]
[01:14:52-01:14:53]
Yeah.

[SPEAKER 2]
[01:14:54-01:15:11]
So we have a few rapid fire questions that we ask every podcast guest and you’ve actually answered a couple of them throughout the podcast. We’ll skip those ones. So there’s just two. And the first one is, do you have a motto or a favorite saying?

[SPEAKER 1]
[01:15:11-01:16:41]
So a girlfriend of mine, I worked on a horse for eight years and I remember, and they were just totally in love. One of the most beautiful partnerships I’ve ever witnessed. And this mare came to a space and saying, I’m ready. And I’m ready to pass. And it was coming winter. And I remember her telling me, and I know this is not a motto necessarily, but she said to me, And it still like makes me tear up because I know how much she loved this mare and how hard this must have been. But she said, it’s better too early than too late. And it really moved me because I saw how much she centered this mare and what she truly needed in that moment and what the process required. rather than I’m gonna hold on because I have so much love and I can’t let go in this moment. So that, I don’t know, like what would love do, you know?

[SPEAKER 2]
[01:16:41-01:16:50]
I love that. Better too early than too late. And the last one is, please complete the sentence, for me horses are…

[SPEAKER 1]
[01:17:02-01:17:42]
I mean, I think I speak for so many when like, I just feel like for me, horses are just completion. Like they’re who I am, you know? Yeah. Like whenever I’m with my girls, it’s just this, this like bubbling joy in me that, that, that I get to live that, you know, it’s a privilege. I said, yeah, for me, horses are a privilege and a deep, oh, like, I don’t know, amazingness. I love that.

[SPEAKER 2]
[01:17:42-01:17:44]
I just, I feel that, I feel that coming through.

[SPEAKER 1]
[01:17:44-01:17:46]
It’s, um, I love that. Thank you.

[SPEAKER 2]
[01:17:46-01:17:51]
So where can people find you and how can they connect with you?

[SPEAKER 1]
[01:17:52-01:18:17]
Yeah, so my website is alexalintoneither.com or .ca. I’ve got both. And you can email me alexa at alexalinton.com. And I’m on Instagram as alexalinton. And Facebook as well, personal and business pages, which is my name. Yeah.

[SPEAKER 2]
[01:18:18-01:18:37]
We’ll link it all in the show notes so everybody can find you. And I just want to say a huge thank you, both from me and also on behalf of our community. I think that this podcast is going to be not only a really important podcast, but one that’s going to be really touching for people as well.

[SPEAKER 1]
[01:18:37-01:18:41]
So thank you. Thank you so much for the opportunity. I really appreciate it.

[SPEAKER 2]
[01:18:45-01:19:19]
Thank you for listening to this episode of the Equestrian Connection podcast by WeHorse. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world to us if you could leave us a rating and review as well as share us on social media. You can find us on Instagram at WeHorse underscore USA and check out our free seven day trial on WeHorse.com where you can access over 175 courses with top trainers from around the world in a variety of topics and disciplines. Until next time, be kind to yourself, your horses and others.